This post was inspired by the church service I attended today. I'm new to this particular church and tonight was a New Year's Eve's eve type service. It was called a Lord's Supper: we ate dinner together followed by baby dedications and communion.
They asked for people to share their testimonies and since they also had this supper last year many people did a year of review. While they spoke, I thought of 2012 as I had lived it. I thought of the the road trips, moving, hospital visits, everything that went along with 2012.
If I had to describe 2012 I'd say it was a year that taught me about independence... and how I am not allowed to have any. :) My mother has always been a woman that put the needs of her children first. That's something that I have always admired about her. For a long time I think I confused her prioritizing my siblings and I with an independence from others. Nothing was impossible for her to accomplish alone (or at least that's how I saw it). I seek to do the same. Or at least I did until 2012.
At the beginning of the year I started a friendship that ended very poorly. He was a man that asked for help and I tried to be there for him as best as I could. Unfortunately he needed more help than I was able to give him and I had to end the friendship because it was not healthy for either of us. For the most part I kept all the tension to myself and just let it build. I was independent. Even after the breaking point, I shared my frustrations with few people and even then it was more to word vomit than to ask for help.
Since I didn't learn from that not to be an island of one from that experience a second trial came. I dislocated a disc in my lumbar spine through a series of prior, foolish acts. The disc between the L4 and L5 was shoved down and to the left which made sitting and bending impossible.